A Thousand Ways to Pay Attention: A Memoir of Coming Home to My Neurodivergent Mind
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- Create Date：2022-05-20 20:21:39
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Rebecca Schiller
- ISBN：1615198806
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Summary
As propulsive as Brain on Fire and as poetically candid as The Collected Schizophrenias， one woman’s quest for the truth of her neurodivergent mind
It should have been Rebecca Schiller’s dream come true: moving her young family to the English countryside to raise goats and coax their own fruit and vegetables from the land。 But， as she writes: The summer of striding out toward a life of open fields and sacks of corn， I brought a confused black hole of something pernicious but not yet acknowledged along for the ride。
Rebecca’s health begins to crumble， with bewildering symptoms: frequent falls， uncontrollable rages， and mysterious lapses in memory。 As she fights to be seen by a succession of specialists， her fledgling homestead—and her family—hang by increasingly tenuous threads。 And when her diagnosis finally comes， it is utterly unexpected: severe ADHD。
In her scramble for answers， Rebecca’s consciousness alternately sears with pinpoint focus and spirals with connections。 Childhood memories resurface with new meaning， and her daily life entwines with the history of intrepid women who tended this land before her。 Her family weathers their growing pains where generations of acorns have fallen to rise again as trees， where ancient wolves and lynx once stalked the shadows。
Written in unsparing， luminous prose， this is an all-absorbing memoir of one woman’s newfound neurodivergence—and a clarion call to overturn the narrative that says minds are either normal and good or different and broken。
It should have been Rebecca Schiller’s dream come true: moving her young family to the English countryside to raise goats and coax their own fruit and vegetables from the land。 But， as she writes: The summer of striding out toward a life of open fields and sacks of corn， I brought a confused black hole of something pernicious but not yet acknowledged along for the ride。
Rebecca’s health begins to crumble， with bewildering symptoms: frequent falls， uncontrollable rages， and mysterious lapses in memory。 As she fights to be seen by a succession of specialists， her fledgling homestead—and her family—hang by increasingly tenuous threads。 And when her diagnosis finally comes， it is utterly unexpected: severe ADHD。
In her scramble for answers， Rebecca’s consciousness alternately sears with pinpoint focus and spirals with connections。 Childhood memories resurface with new meaning， and her daily life entwines with the history of intrepid women who tended this land before her。 Her family weathers their growing pains where generations of acorns have fallen to rise again as trees， where ancient wolves and lynx once stalked the shadows。
Written in unsparing， luminous prose， this is an all-absorbing memoir of one woman’s newfound neurodivergence—and a clarion call to overturn the narrative that says minds are either normal and good or different and broken。
Reviews
Sarah Nichols
，
somewhere between a 3 and 4 for me。 i think if you are both interested in mental health AND gardening/smallholdings （which i was）， then this is an excellent book。 if you are only interested in one of the two i could see you getting bored in certain sections， as it often veered off the course of one to the other。 however i’m also SO grateful for this book and it’s representation of neurodivergence and ADHD in women from a firsthand account。
Anna
，
I really enjoyed being inside a neurodivergent's brain and being able to relate to the constant energies and battles of the busy mind。 Her journey taught me a lot and helped me feel less alone in my own journey。 I really enjoyed being inside a neurodivergent's brain and being able to relate to the constant energies and battles of the busy mind。 Her journey taught me a lot and helped me feel less alone in my own journey。 。。。more
Dale
，
Also titled Earthed: My Year of Hope and Hard Lessons from the Land， outside of the U。S。A。 I read the Earthed version。。。 both titles are equally apt and while the explorations and explanations of her family's landholding and its lifestyle， local history and global environmental and climate issues were interesting， finding myself in the midst of the author's mind and thousand ways of paying attention was for me a somewhat fraught experience regardless of the importance and relevance of its narrat Also titled Earthed: My Year of Hope and Hard Lessons from the Land， outside of the U。S。A。 I read the Earthed version。。。 both titles are equally apt and while the explorations and explanations of her family's landholding and its lifestyle， local history and global environmental and climate issues were interesting， finding myself in the midst of the author's mind and thousand ways of paying attention was for me a somewhat fraught experience regardless of the importance and relevance of its narrative。 Despite knowing the outcome， an eventual diagnosis of ADHD was a relief。 。。。more
Avory Faucette
，
I started reading this book on a Wednesday， at the tail end of several weeks without giving myself a day off。 I read the first few pages at least seven times， wandering around my basement apartment with my mind bouncing from what to capture for this review， to how I make book notes in general， to the question of where I might find resources on improving the quality of a non-fiction book review。 It took me an hour of noticing the disjointed state of my own thoughts， at approximately five-minute i I started reading this book on a Wednesday， at the tail end of several weeks without giving myself a day off。 I read the first few pages at least seven times， wandering around my basement apartment with my mind bouncing from what to capture for this review， to how I make book notes in general， to the question of where I might find resources on improving the quality of a non-fiction book review。 It took me an hour of noticing the disjointed state of my own thoughts， at approximately five-minute intervals， to actually make it to the pill case， and once the meds kicked in I found myself focusing not on the book in my hand but rather on a text conversation。 And thus I felt right at home when I finally settled into these pages， a beautiful ADHD memoir speaking to such internal experiences in a way that feels not polished and sanitized for an outside perspective but rather reflective of our own chaotic and beautiful brains。 As a lover of dichotomy， this book was exactly what I needed。Rebecca Schiller drops us into her memoir with a jarring opening set just after the year that the bulk of the book chronicles （2019）。 In recounting her experience of a diagnostic test Schiller captures the feeling of being inside an ADHD brain but also the meta-layer of impostor syndrome， the observational tendency to notice how others are noticing you。 "There’s no one to hide behind here， no last-minute miracle I can pull out of the bag， no way to fake it， no brilliant distraction， no covering humor， no meticulous preparation， no costume， no series of reminders and lists， no lie or excuse， no way to cancel at the last minute， no opt- out， no get-out， no convincing apology， no way to go back in time。”Oof。 I’m pulled back into a similar feeling， sitting in a kind psychiatric nurse’s armchair where I’m both tempted to answer his questions in the manner that would be most reflective of the DSM-V criteria for ADHD and at the same time trying not to do so， for fear that despite my honest I might somehow be subconsciously lying。 And I’m also relieved in retrospect that my own country doesn’t use the test Schiller describes， as it was her very description meant to invoke the maddening monotony of it that sent my mind wandering: red circle， blue circle， click。 Schiller’s prose has a beautiful immediacy to it。 Though we can gather from the test and the book’s title that she’s writing about ADHD， this memoir comes at the diagnosis from a different angle， the term not actually appearing until we reach December in her yearlong narrative。 Though the final quarter of the book does return to the diagnosis， considering Schiller’s experience in the greater context of adult women who experience these symptoms， throughout her month-by-month account of the prior year we’re fully immersed in her perspective—that terrifying experience of knowing that something is wrong， but not exactly what。 This immersion takes place on a smallholding （homestead） in southern England， where Schiller learns to tend to the land and balances work with mothering two small children in the midst of an unraveling that threatens to undo her。 The looming spectre of climate change and an uncertainty around what right she has to steward the land parallel her experience of cognitive overwhelm， but amidst the intense vulnerability of her internal experience we also get to know a natural world that can be in turns whimsical， brutal， and soothing。 I personally appreciate that nature and beauty and even mindfulness are presented here as possible to access without a stereotypically calm approach。 I’m sure I’m not the only intuitive with ADHD who struggles to embody the calm， soothing tones of a typical person in my field！ Schiller’s intimacy with the land helps the reader to appreciate how viewing ADHD as “disordered” is really a product of modern culture。 Gardening and other tasks become daunting when planning ahead， but when Schiller is fully immersed some of the pressure slips away and she begins to develop relationship as part of a rich ecosystem。Dichotomy—holding two contradicting things to be simultaneously true—winds through Schiller’s storytelling。 There is even a dichotomy formed by how the meandering， specific prose somehow generates clear themes without an obvious destination。 Schiller is honest about the simultaneous beauty and torment of the ADHD brain。 On the one hand， we can weave things together in creative ways， but that ability also makes it very challenging to stay within a single context when novel associations beckon。 Good for innovation， bad for focus。That weaving is illustrated through a layering of levels of reality， time， and context in the narrative。 I found this quite natural and intriguing， but neurotypical readers may struggle！ Schiller demonstrates how her mind can hold large and small scope， past and present context， as she jumps between research about 17th century English tenants， for example， and the minutae of a gardening task， interspersed with sort-of dream sequences that are never quite defined—delusion？ Intuitive journey？ Just a storyteller’s embellishment？ The reader is left to decide。 One fascinating perspective treats ADHD as an open third eye that doesn’t help much in the “real world，” but has its own magic。 Coping mechanisms like notifications and planners can allow you to manage well enough to safely keep this third eye open， but unfamiliar environments without these tools available can result in a rush。 I expect many readers will relate， like me， to Schiller’s experience of ADHD being a kind of strength as a student but a burden as an adult。 I found myself inside her narrative again as I remembered my delight when junior-year courses all neatly lined up so that I was studying U。S。 history， civics， and literature simultaneously—meaning that my ability to connect each layer was an asset rather than a distraction。 I tired of linear， shallow stories and wanted to dig deep in an interdisciplinary fashion。 Even in her adult experience we find a contrast between Schiller’s research achievements （available when she follows the safe route of pursuing curiosity towards sprawling high-level subjects） and the mistake-filled emotional roller coaster of her day-to-day life。In 2020 I wrote in my journal “ADHD is the constant desire to escape。” Schiller’s experience echoes this reflection， as she both becomes more rooted to the land and wonders if she should flee it。 There’s even an interesting connection between ADHD and nomadic life， and to spiral time。 I’ll let you read the book for the details， but I particularly appreciate how rather than framing ADHD as a “modern illness，” Schiller concludes that these traits of ours have existed for a long time—it is only the way capitalism forces us into a neurotypical prison that makes ADHD a weakness rather than a strength。Readers should be aware that the theme of escape does include some intense descriptions of self-harm and desire to self-harm， including intrusive thoughts of suicide。 Despite that， Schiller goes through the familiar experience of not being unwell enough at the specific moment she’s screened to get support， figuring into her critique of the health care system。 Her persistence in arriving at the right diagnosis is inspiring， but it’s not an easy path。 She beautifully captures the frustration of having so much to say about your context that would help a professional understand your internal experience， but then needing to get it across quickly in “bullet point” format to fit in the time allotted。 I think I was most struck by the relational pieces of the book。 The stereotype of the spacey， “head in the clouds” ADHD person doesn’t really capture our hyperawareness at different levels， including of people’s reactions （which may manifest as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria。） The contrast between rigid personal rules that keep things together and having to lie multiple times about why you forgot a meeting was deeply familiar。 Professional female and non-binary readers may especially relate to the way Schiller talks about those learned behaviors as what can keep us from being “the kind of person” who forgets things。 Ultimately， between a space of magical possibility and a site of insanity， Schiller locates the ADHD brain closer to the experience of intuition。 From the viewpoint of this book the intuitive path is the hard one， but its beauty is in how it uncovers the layers of modern life to guide you to what you already know。 For a story surrounded by so-called apocalypse， from the Greek “uncover” or “reveal，” this seems highly à propos。I would highly recommend to anyone， especially， who is both neurodivergent and passionate about the intersection of healing and justice， including practitioners of earth-based spirituality and those with metaphysical interests。 While I can’t know what the experience of reading it would be like for a neurotypical person， I can also see it being a great way to get a sense of the internal experience of someone with ADHD。 （ARC provided by Edelweiss。） 。。。more
Wrapped Up in Books
，
I liked this book for the discussion of the author’s mental health experience， and a little bit for the stories the author made up about people who lived in her area centuries ago。 Less so for the descriptions of life on a small farm。 The funny thing is that this book came out in the UK before the States， and the the original title “Earthed” and description would lead one to believe that the book was all about the experience of a family starting a farm。 A quick glance through the reviews from la I liked this book for the discussion of the author’s mental health experience， and a little bit for the stories the author made up about people who lived in her area centuries ago。 Less so for the descriptions of life on a small farm。 The funny thing is that this book came out in the UK before the States， and the the original title “Earthed” and description would lead one to believe that the book was all about the experience of a family starting a farm。 A quick glance through the reviews from last year show that people were confused that it wasn’t purely about a small family learning how to make it on a farm in the English countryside。The cover and blurbs about the version that was later marketed to the USA seemed like it was purely about a woman who is struggling to find her mental health diagnosis。 I would say this book is a conglomeration of topics， mostly about a woman in her 30’s trying to find herself。 She comes to the realization that she has been living as neurodivergent person her whole life， although she has some issue with the term。I was bored at times reading this book， and other times the language was lyrical and absorbing。 Overall， I would give it 3。5 stars。Thank you to Netgalley for a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review 。。。more
Eggwit
，
Not exactly sure why but I hated this book。 Had a really visceral response to it （I listened to it rather than reading it）。 Could not help criticising it throughout。 Strangely kept listening to it though hoping that she’d give up on that bloody plot - was never sure if it was her saving Grace or the thing driving her to distraction 🤷🏻♀️Was pulled on by title and book cover （foolish mistake）。
Gabriela
，
I listened to the audiobook and the incursions into the past were not easy to follow， as I got confused about the timeline and who the narrator was。But I thoroughly enjoyed this book touching on plants and gardening， mental health， ADHD and family life。 By the end， I wanted to hear more。I will try to read the actual text。
Ebony
，
Hard to write a review of something so personal。 I really enjoyed the way the author wrote about neurodivergence and the honesty with which she told her story。 Her relationship with the land is beautiful and the book is full of wise insights。 However， I feel like the pace and erratic narrative technique wasn't for me， though I appreciate the decision to structure it in such a way。 Hard to write a review of something so personal。 I really enjoyed the way the author wrote about neurodivergence and the honesty with which she told her story。 Her relationship with the land is beautiful and the book is full of wise insights。 However， I feel like the pace and erratic narrative technique wasn't for me， though I appreciate the decision to structure it in such a way。 。。。more
Literary Redhead
，
A THOUSAND WAYS TO PAY ATTENTIONby Rebecca SchillerThe ExperimentPub Date: Apr 26A Thousand Ways To Pay Attention is an important memoir on the impact of severe ADHD on a woman and her family living in the English countryside。 Author Rebecca Schiller's life began to spin out of control after the family moved to a rural area to raise goats and hens， and grow fruits and vegetables。 As her symptoms worsened -- including intense anger and memory loss and many falls -- Rebecca's family felt the brunt A THOUSAND WAYS TO PAY ATTENTIONby Rebecca SchillerThe ExperimentPub Date: Apr 26A Thousand Ways To Pay Attention is an important memoir on the impact of severe ADHD on a woman and her family living in the English countryside。 Author Rebecca Schiller's life began to spin out of control after the family moved to a rural area to raise goats and hens， and grow fruits and vegetables。 As her symptoms worsened -- including intense anger and memory loss and many falls -- Rebecca's family felt the brunt too。 Only after visits to specialist after specialist did she finally get her surprising diagnosis。What I love about this memoir is Rebecca's brave candor， which will help similarly afflicted readers most。 What I struggled with was the slow pace and at times confusing narrative， which leapt crazily from topic to topic。 While it gave a real picture of a disordered mind， it was often hard to follow。 Thanks to the author， The Experiment， and NetGalley for the e-ARC。 Opinions are mine。 #AThousandWaysToPayAttention #TheExperiment #RebeccaSchiller #NetGalley #neurodiversitymemoir #ADHDmemoirs #bookstagramcommunity 。。。more
Ashleigh Howland
，
This unflinching and visceral portrayal of life before， during， and after a late-in-life ADHD diagnosis is a poignant journey to understand and appreciate the brains and experiences we have。 Woven into the neurodiverse experience is the story of returning to the land， of smallholding with flora and fauna， and of connecting to our truest selves， in spite of what we are taught we should be or do or want。 It is brutal and beautiful; expansive and focused; historical and time-luminous。
Susan
，
I received an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 I mean no personal offense to the author because I know her experience is just that; deeply personal but communicating that experience or journey is not her forte。 I had to skim the entire book。 The pace was slow and I kept thinking “just get to the point。” Certainly not a read for me。
Rima
，
Great story。 I really got her & what she was saying。 Very interesting perspective on mental health。 Definitely recommend。 I would like to thank NetGalley， the publisher， and the author for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review。
Annie
，
First: I think the title is great。 I think the idea of neurodivergence is extremely helpful， and as someone with ADHD， I do believe that there are benefits to having a brain that works this way， even though the challenges can be tremendous and it takes considerable work to unlearn the sense that you’re fundamentally broken。 Especially when you’re not diagnosed until adulthood and you spend your entire childhood with educators telling you essentially that your problem is that you’re lazy and arro First: I think the title is great。 I think the idea of neurodivergence is extremely helpful， and as someone with ADHD， I do believe that there are benefits to having a brain that works this way， even though the challenges can be tremendous and it takes considerable work to unlearn the sense that you’re fundamentally broken。 Especially when you’re not diagnosed until adulthood and you spend your entire childhood with educators telling you essentially that your problem is that you’re lazy and arrogant。 But enough about me。 As much as I believe in the value of people representing their experiences honestly， and even more so when their experiences are under-represented， I wish the author had found a way to tell her story with more compassion for the person she was when she lived it。 The self-loathing and rage are all honest responses to what she was going through， and the story would be a lie without them。 Moreover， I would guess that her readers will readily identify with those responses。 However， it doesn’t help any of us to stay in that place of rage and self-loathing。 We read a book like this because we’re hoping to understand something about the work of healing。 There are a lot of women receiving initial diagnoses for ADHD right now， and they need that compassion front-loaded。 Don’t bury the lede。 Don’t wait until page 248 or whatever to introduce the idea of neurodivergence。I think it should be a rule that no one gets to publish their memoir of a major life event until they’ve had at least three years to process it。 This seems to me have been insufficiently processed。 。。。more
Dea~Country Girl At Heart
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Rebecca Schiller bought a small piece of land with her husband Jared， in 2017。 This novel is a rare insight into her mental health issues， and her struggles to cope with her ever-increasing list of projects around their land。 I found her day to day struggles very relatable， and her crisis's very well explained。One of my favourite parts of the book， was when Rebecca describes the beauty of the outdoors; with details of the trees， flowers， goats， chickens， and the growing of vegetables。 I also enj Rebecca Schiller bought a small piece of land with her husband Jared， in 2017。 This novel is a rare insight into her mental health issues， and her struggles to cope with her ever-increasing list of projects around their land。 I found her day to day struggles very relatable， and her crisis's very well explained。One of my favourite parts of the book， was when Rebecca describes the beauty of the outdoors; with details of the trees， flowers， goats， chickens， and the growing of vegetables。 I also enjoyed reading of the relationship that she had with her husband， and her two children。 。。。more
Snorki
，
The story of a woman who moves with her family away from the city and to a small holding where they are trying to live a simpler life， closer to nature， more self-sufficient。 But at the same time， she is suffering from mental illness。 This is an honest and moving book about the struggles of trying to cope， the joys of nature， the challenges of family life and the hope offered finally by a diagnosis and some treatment。
Natalie
，
I didn't realise what this was when I picked it up， but I feel a little bit wide-eyed and naked， honestly。 I knew what was going on early doors。 I'm a lot like the author。 She's ahead of me in a couple of ways （I gave up my allotment， I haven't pursued official recognition of my brain stuff） but I feel like it would almost be a cliché if we met and compared experiences。 I truly loved this。 I found some passages and pathways unwieldy and hard to follow （but I say this wryly as I know why they cam I didn't realise what this was when I picked it up， but I feel a little bit wide-eyed and naked， honestly。 I knew what was going on early doors。 I'm a lot like the author。 She's ahead of me in a couple of ways （I gave up my allotment， I haven't pursued official recognition of my brain stuff） but I feel like it would almost be a cliché if we met and compared experiences。 I truly loved this。 I found some passages and pathways unwieldy and hard to follow （but I say this wryly as I know why they came out the way they did， and I'm just the same when I tell stories） but I'm very， very glad I read it。 And weirdly， feel proud of Rebecca Schiller despite never having met her。 Hopeful， too， that maybe I'll grow more than some green topped carrots and write more than snatched scribbles when I get the chance。 I feel like I have a new friend。 。。。more
Sophie E Anderson
，
This books got me asking so many questions about myself， I feel seen。
Judy
，
I have so many mixed feelings about this book。 I finished it， and am glad I did， but it was a struggle to do that in various stages。 I think， for me， if I had been reading in book or ebook format I would have put it aside but in the audio format I could continue on。 Perhaps it was finding the shape of the book was different to what I had envisioned from the blurb。 I was anticipating a memoir of a woman and her family learning to live with and connect to the land they had taken over the care of。 I have so many mixed feelings about this book。 I finished it， and am glad I did， but it was a struggle to do that in various stages。 I think， for me， if I had been reading in book or ebook format I would have put it aside but in the audio format I could continue on。 Perhaps it was finding the shape of the book was different to what I had envisioned from the blurb。 I was anticipating a memoir of a woman and her family learning to live with and connect to the land they had taken over the care of。 And undeniably this thread flows all the way through， with some wonderful insights into our connectedness to land， respect of those who have working with the patch before and an understanding of the role of the “landholder” to be a good Steward of the land。 A theme I also try to live by。 I adored the epilogue， it made me start to love the book again， as I truly had plodded through the previous number of chapters。 For me， I had not anticipated the depth of the wandering through the authors brain and mind that would occupy so much of the read。 I recognise and respect her life and story and could understand a lot of what she was writing down （written in great detail I must say） but I guess my interest was in the earth， in feeling the soil and the climate and the way she walked on it with respect and care。 I found that in patches and in the epilogue 。。。more
Stevie
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“。。。I will think that while most people are made of 60% water， I am composed of smoke and mirrors largely held together with shame。”The book gets off to an interesting start as we meet the author undergoing some kind of test。 It is engaging because we want to know what it’s about。 The author makes it clear how she feels about the test with vivid descriptions and staccatoed thoughts。 In them we learn that she maintains a plot of land in the country， though it is unclear， to both the reader and th “。。。I will think that while most people are made of 60% water， I am composed of smoke and mirrors largely held together with shame。”The book gets off to an interesting start as we meet the author undergoing some kind of test。 It is engaging because we want to know what it’s about。 The author makes it clear how she feels about the test with vivid descriptions and staccatoed thoughts。 In them we learn that she maintains a plot of land in the country， though it is unclear， to both the reader and the writer， if that is what is keeping her sane， or if it is the reason she is unraveling。 As we learn more about the daily chores， local wildlife， and what flowers and vegetables are in season， it becomes apparent that the author’s mental health is in decline。 The author’s struggles on the farm， and with various members of her family， are reflected in her hunt for a medical diagnosis。 She spends long hours down internet rabbit holes， researching the history （or， more accurately， the herstory） of the land， a way to distract herself from the unknown diagnosis， while at the same time， growing closer to the land and its past。This book hooked me with its illustrative writing style， doing an excellent job of showing， not telling， both in the garden and in regards to her mental state。 The author’s anxiety is palpable in both her uncontrolled outbursts and runaway， occasionally self-berating， thoughts。 I enjoyed the repetitive elements of defining words and their origins， and how they tied neatly to the topic at hand。 I breezed through this book in a matter of hours， needing to know her diagnosis， as though it would make me feel better about what's going on in my own brain， because much what she recounts is very relatable。 I did get lost in the weeds towards the end， which seems like the writer’s diagnosis rearing its ugly head。 The pace changes， becoming choppy prose and then lengthy narrative。 It’s over in a few pages， but it did sour my opinion just the tiniest bit of an otherwise fascinating book of what life is like living with an undiagnosed mental condition。This book might be appreciated by those familiar with the Back to Land Movement， more recent works on the topic include Melissa Coleman’s memoir This Life is in Your Hands and Barbara Kingsolver’s Animal， Vegetable， Miracle。 This book also sparked some similarities to Sylvia Plath。 。。。more
Chelsea
，
3。5/5。 It's difficult to rate such a personal book。There's a quote on the back of this book from Sophie Heawood that says: "The 'how I moved to a field and had a breakdown book' that desperately needed to be written。" And I think that describes it well， though it focuses far more on the breakdown than the field。 It's honest and personal， and any attempts to smooth it over for editing would lessen it's authenticity。 There were some parts that remained a little too abstract however， and for me fel 3。5/5。 It's difficult to rate such a personal book。There's a quote on the back of this book from Sophie Heawood that says: "The 'how I moved to a field and had a breakdown book' that desperately needed to be written。" And I think that describes it well， though it focuses far more on the breakdown than the field。 It's honest and personal， and any attempts to smooth it over for editing would lessen it's authenticity。 There were some parts that remained a little too abstract however， and for me felt out of place。 Initially the jumps between mental health and discussing the next seeds to be sown felt sudden， but I realised that it was just realistic - life doesn't stop because you're struggling。 At first this book was difficult to read， because it was difficult to go through Rebecca's struggles with her。 Had the whole book had the tone of the first 50 pages， I couldn't have continued with it。 However， Earthed is the journey that both her mental health and smallholding skills went on together， and the difficult beginning evolves as a result。 As the book progressed I was more and more invested in this snapshot of her life， and finished it with a far different feeling to how I started it。 I will say that I was disappointed by the lack of farming and smallholding - the title and summaries fail to convey just how much of a focus on mental health this book had。 Had I known this I probably wouldn't have picked it up。 Still， I'm glad I did as I enjoyed it in the end。It's difficult to explain what this book is， so I've chosen a few favourite quotes in an attempt to let the book explain itself:"There have been plenty of what looked and felt like good days this month。 Everyone is desperate to believe in them and in the steady springtime version of me: smiling， efficient and calm。 I have tried to convince myself that she is real and that the woman who exploded was a blip。 Except she wasn't。 There have been more and more blips and they are getting closer together; their trigger more sensitive。""My June garden is emerging from December's bog and there's a shimmer of energy around the place too。 As the wind ruffles the field maple's bare branches and a carrion crow shouts above， a half silhouette steps into the side of my vision。 I close my eyes。。。。" 。。。more
Laura
，
I am obsessed with how beautiful this cover this。 I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book， I’m not exactly miss green thumb and worried there would be too much gardening， farming and nature talk for me to stay interested。 Glad to say I was wrong though， I was kept throughly engaged the whole way through this beautiful and incredibly relatable memoir。 Rebecca takes us through a year in her life when she and her family packed everything up and moved to the country for a taste of the ‘simple li I am obsessed with how beautiful this cover this。 I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book， I’m not exactly miss green thumb and worried there would be too much gardening， farming and nature talk for me to stay interested。 Glad to say I was wrong though， I was kept throughly engaged the whole way through this beautiful and incredibly relatable memoir。 Rebecca takes us through a year in her life when she and her family packed everything up and moved to the country for a taste of the ‘simple life’ expect nothing about it was simple and as she taught herself how to tend to her vegetable patch and hatch chicks she realised she was struggling and had been for a long time。 The way Rebecca describes her thoughts， feelings and struggles is beautiful and comforting。 This is a book about mental health， the toll it can take on us and the people around us and how hard and frustrating it can be to get help。 However its also a book full of hope， Rebecca reaches her lowest and still manages to push through and come to terms with what is happening to her。 She seeks and pushes for the right help and in the meantime does her best to hunker down and continue on with family life and work。 This read was inspiring and at time when i’ve been struggling myself。 made me feel a little less alone。 。。。more
Mary
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When I started this book I didn't know what the author's diagnosis would be， I only knew that she would have mental health issues。 As I read I started to see myself in the pages。 The need to move fast from one thing to the next。 The distractions， frustrations， overthinking， difficulty making a decision， needing to get everything right， but being in such a hurry that you don't want to take things one step at a time to DO it right you just want it DONE。 The quandry of so many great ideas for proje When I started this book I didn't know what the author's diagnosis would be， I only knew that she would have mental health issues。 As I read I started to see myself in the pages。 The need to move fast from one thing to the next。 The distractions， frustrations， overthinking， difficulty making a decision， needing to get everything right， but being in such a hurry that you don't want to take things one step at a time to DO it right you just want it DONE。 The quandry of so many great ideas for projects， with no starting and ending point， just ideas in various stages of being incomplete。 Then there's the constant anxiety that depresses and you wonder "what can't I just relax！？" It turns out that her diagnosis mirrored mine。 Even though I had known what my problem was I had not appreciated the impact it actually had on my daily life until I read this book and looked at the impact it has as an outsider。 This book has taught me to be kinder to myself。 This is not a personality flaw， it's brain chemistry。 This would also be a great book for loved ones to read so that they may be more patient and understanding。 Thank you #Netgalley for allowing me to read and review #Earthed。 。。。more
Nina
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What a privilege to be allowed into someone’s mind in this way。 This book is honest and emotional。
Barbara
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I enjoyed this。 Rebecca， husband Jared and two children take on an impossible small holding a year or two before lockdown。 She experiences some breakdown， and gets diagnosed with ADHD after some therapy that doesn't get it。 In that， she is very lucky， this condition although quite common， is frequently missed and not well catered for。 I would like to have known more。 Rebecca is well aware and tells us at the end what doesn't work about this book。 She is trying to do too many things and she gets I enjoyed this。 Rebecca， husband Jared and two children take on an impossible small holding a year or two before lockdown。 She experiences some breakdown， and gets diagnosed with ADHD after some therapy that doesn't get it。 In that， she is very lucky， this condition although quite common， is frequently missed and not well catered for。 I would like to have known more。 Rebecca is well aware and tells us at the end what doesn't work about this book。 She is trying to do too many things and she gets bored， she is excited by a new project but finds it very hard to get stuck in maintenance and in that respect her move to the land ， is ADHD hell。 And the too many things is completely ADHD。 Thank you for this book。 。。。more
bookventures_of_a_wildflower
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Thank you for Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-arc in exchange for my honest review。When I started reading this book and didn't know how much of the book would be focused around the writer's mental health， nature and the process of moving to the countryside。I found that this book was very complex and built with many layers。 Myy favourite parts were the imagined life of previous tenants of the property， the detailed nature descriptions and the occasional lyrical writing。 The writer Thank you for Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-arc in exchange for my honest review。When I started reading this book and didn't know how much of the book would be focused around the writer's mental health， nature and the process of moving to the countryside。I found that this book was very complex and built with many layers。 Myy favourite parts were the imagined life of previous tenants of the property， the detailed nature descriptions and the occasional lyrical writing。 The writer did an amazing job intertwining her mental struggles with the every day hardships of farming life， showing how moving to the countryside and being close to nature isn't always freeing and relaxing。It took quite a few months to finish this book， because although it is amazing and written well， I found that if you sttruggle with mental health problems， reading books that could be triggering may prove counterproductive。 This is exactly what happened in my case。 It is soething very subjective and as I explained the book and writing is very good。 。。。more
Julie
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4*
Angela Boyden
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EarthedThis book is not what I expected。 I was disappointed。 I often felt irritated by the main character， sometimes angry although I often found resemblances to myself and my life。 It may be a perfect read for some people but sadly not for me。
Jenny Hayworth
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Awesome Great read。 A harrowing confronting raw honest account of a slice in the life of one woman。 Highs and lows of trying to build a dream on a small holding at the same time learning about herself and facing her own highs and lows， lovely intersection of nature and the macro along with internal emotional states and thoughts the micro。 A blending of the human and natural worlds the interconnection of seasons and past， present and future。
Kate Foster
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I enjoyed the disjointedness of this book as it seemed to mirror the movement of a busy mind， leaping around all over the place。 My favourite sections were those set in the past - they showed a vivid imagination， bringing characters to life - particularly women - who were just a name on a censor or deed。 It’s a clever and important premise。 I also enjoyed the magic realist sections as Rebecca leaped into the tree for example， to find herself amongst a rainforest tribe。 The main part of the story I enjoyed the disjointedness of this book as it seemed to mirror the movement of a busy mind， leaping around all over the place。 My favourite sections were those set in the past - they showed a vivid imagination， bringing characters to life - particularly women - who were just a name on a censor or deed。 It’s a clever and important premise。 I also enjoyed the magic realist sections as Rebecca leaped into the tree for example， to find herself amongst a rainforest tribe。 The main part of the story is about Rebecca and her family’s move to a small holding， her breakdown and subsequent ADHD diagnosis。 To me， it seemed obvious that it would be impossible to juggle a busy job， a small holding and a young family， without adding in a compulsion to write。 This aspect of Rebecca’s life in the modern world seemed in sharp contrast to the women she imagined in the past。 Sometimes we have to accept that we can’t have it all。 。。。more
Jo
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